Passing the Test

These words out of 2 Chronicles 32:31 make me shudder:

"God withdrew from Hezekiah in order to test him and to see what was really in his heart."

I shudder because I've had these tests many times—and failed. I know that, in and of myself, I just can't be good, I won't seek God, and most of all, I don't have any love. The reality check I've discovered is that, without God's Spirit abiding in me continuously, I am nothing.

Honestly, I haven't sensed God withdrawing from my life for a long time now. I have grown—a lot. I have tasted and fallen in love with Him like never before. I have learned to obey out of love and gratitude, not duty. But is it all enough? Am I even capable of staying power if He withdraws from me to test me once again?

In my opinion, I don't think this verse really means that God didn't know what was in Hezekiah's heart. I think God was showing Hezekiah what was in his own heart. For instance, I know that Hezekiah struggled with pride in his accomplishments (vs. 25). Maybe, just maybe, if I don't go back to my old independent prideful ways like Hezekiah, thinking I'm something amazing in my own strength and accomplishments (yep, I've had those times in my life), God won't have to test me again like this, and then I won't have to discover what a miserable failure I am without Him all over again.

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