Tag Archives: singleness

Interview & Book Give Away with Allison Flexer

Allison Flexer HeadShotHappy almost-New Year, my friends! Wow, what a whirlwind few weeks it has been! As a matter of fact, what a whirlwind YEAR it has been. Do I hear an amen?

I’m thrilled to slow down, take a breath, and introduce Allison Flexer to you. Allison and I met while I was teaching at Writers Advance Boot Camp a couple of years ago, and I was immediately intrigued by her book idea. And so was the editor at Beacon Hill Press! Be sure to read her amazing story of how God blessed her with a book contract and a husband…all in the same year!

Don’t forget to leave a comment for Allison and you’ll be in the drawing for a free book. Be sure to return next week to see if you’re the winner!

Allison, welcome to the Christian Writer’s Den. Let’s get started with the first question: What inspired you to write a book for single women?

My journey of prolonged singleness was difficult, especially in my thirties. I believed I was doing all the right things, but my dating relationships never resulted in marriage for one reason or another. I prayed for a husband for a really long time and found myself losing hope.

In 2008, I quit my corporate job to take some time off. During those months, I rediscovered my love of writing. God led me on a healing journey through blogging and writing as he showed me the lies I had allowed to subconsciously creep into my life:

“No one has chosen me, so I’m not worthy to be chosen.”

“There is something wrong with me.”

“God has forgotten about me.”

I began writing about the lies I believed and sought truth from the Bible so I would be armed to fight these lies marching through my mind. Over the course of about four years, that healing journey turned into what is now Truth, Lies, and the Single Woman.

What do you believe is the most damaging lie that single Christian women believe?Allison Flexer book cover tlsw

Believing lies instead of truth is a struggle we all have in common, regardless of marital status. Vonda, I know you’re familiar with this topic and wrote about lies in your book, Seeing Through the Lies: Unmasking the Myths Women Believe. Although it’s difficult to rank them, I believe the lies about our sense of value or self-worth affect almost every other area of our lives and are critical to understand. The first half of Truth, Lies, and the Single Woman mainly addresses lies that impact our relationship with God.

The truth about our identity in Christ—we are accepted, love, valuable beyond measure—combats these lies. Once we know we’re fully loved and accepted by Christ, we can better counteract some of the other issues, like the temptation to settle or believing something is wrong with us.

What do you think married people commonly misunderstand about singleness?

I believe many married people, especially those who got married at a young age, don’t realize how difficult singleness can be. It’s tough to do life alone. In the book, I talk about how being single and going on dates during my mid-thirties made me feel childish in comparison to the big life changes my friends were experiencing, things like marriage and babies. Even though singleness definitely has perks—your schedule is completely your own and you can eat popcorn for dinner every night if you want—we shouldn’t overlook its challenges.

I want my friends to hear the story of how the book came to be published. Would you mind sharing it? 

I’d love to! In 2013, I was engaged and planning my wedding. I hadn’t pursued publication for the book in quite some time. It was mostly complete, but I had been rejected by many publishing houses and thought it wasn’t God’s plan for the book to be published.

Out of the blue, I received a call from Beacon Hill Press of Kansas City. They had been interested in the book years before, but nothing came of it. A new editor found my old proposal and called me about it. I sent her the manuscript to read. In August 2013, I was in the middle of my “trial run” with a stylist for my wedding hair and makeup. The editor called me and said, “We want to publish your book. I’m sending you a contract.”

After all that time, I couldn’t believe my ears. I was overwhelmed with the beauty of God’s plan. I got married and signed a book contract in the same year. So many answers to prayer in such a short time!

I just love that story! God not only blessed you with a husband when you least expected it AND with a contract after you thought that door had been closed. Isn’t that just like God?

Now, before we go, would you tell us what’s next for you?Allison Flexer photo

I’m beginning to book speaking engagements for 2015 and plan to work on building that side of my ministry. I love to encourage women with truth from God’s Word and help them see their great value in God’s eyes. I’m considering my next book project as well. Since I’ve now been married just over one year, I might work on Truth, Lies, and Newlyweds! I would also like to write a devotional book in the future. In the meantime, I’m a regular contributor at SingleMatters.com and also love to connect with readers on my website/blog: AllisonFlexer.com.

Thank you for joining us today, Allison. I pray God’s richest blessing on your book and your marriage!

And readers, if you’d like a chance to win a copy of Truth, Lies, and the Single Woman, be sure to leave a comment and then check back next week to see if you won. And if you can’t wait to get your own copy, here’s a direct Amazon link to Truth, Lies, and the Single Woman.

Bio: Allison K. Flexer is an author, speaker, and blogger who is passionate about communicating the love of God to others. Her first book, Truth, Lies, and the Single Woman (Beacon Hill Press), tells the story of her single journey and gives practical steps for letting go of the lies that destroy the joy and confidence of unmarried women. Allison was also a contributing writer for Fulfilled: The NIV Devotional Bible for the Single Woman. You can connect with Allison on her website at www.allisonflexer.com or on Twitter: @allisonkflex. Book’s website: www.SingleWomanBook.com

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