Warning!
A priest and a pastor from the local churches were standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground that read: The End is Near! Turn Yourself Around Now…Before It's Too Late!
As a car sped past them, the driver yelled, "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!"
From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. The priest turned to the pastor and asked, "Do you think the sign should just say 'Bridge Out'?"
Attitude
There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head."Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." So she did and she had a wonderful day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror, and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. "Hmm," she said. "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today." So she did and she had a grand day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. "Well," she said. "Today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.
"Yay! I don't have to fix my hair today!"